He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
