Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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