STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
