im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
