omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
