I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
