This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
