someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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