I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
