To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
