I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We talked him into tasing himself.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
