Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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