She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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