there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
