He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
