I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
