Having a random hookup so left but love u
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
