i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
