So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
