when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
