beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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