Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
