Im at strip club and am horny
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
