that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
