Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
