I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
