good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
