Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
