That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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