I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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