so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
