I think i peed on brittanys purse
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
