Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
