Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
