I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
