he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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