so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
