you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
