i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
