everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so let's talk penis.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
