Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
