Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
