If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
