dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You've changed since you got that strap on
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
