Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry about my life...
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