it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
