She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
