just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
