it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
