hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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